He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
there is puke in my bra ... again
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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