vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
