i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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