My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
