Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
