Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
