Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
