I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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