I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
