Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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