I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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