i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
