Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
