We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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