I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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