In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
