So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
