I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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