I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
