I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
