i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
