WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
