try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
