If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
