I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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