My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
