The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
