i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
