Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
