that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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