problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
