i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize