I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
not ubering you a puppy
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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