'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
