Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
im holly from the hills drunk
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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