everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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