I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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