I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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