New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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