I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Its about making memories worth repressing
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
