She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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