I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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