Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
