This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize