sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
