the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dignity is for republicans.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
