I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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