I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
