I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
