she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
