Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
