You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
