i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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