The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
