You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
