I wish I could punch you in the face.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
