I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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