Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
