Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
